An Address from the Guild Leader of The Art of Ruin

[GM Fright]

Prepare yourselves.

[GM Fright]

And now, the Guild Leader of The Art of Ruin!!!!!!!!!!

::CHEER CHEER YAY SCREAM SHRIEK WHOOHOO PANTIES YIPEE YAY YAY CHEER!!!::

Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thanks. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you. Ladies and Gentleman and Donatall, I join you tonight from the Rectangle Office in the Bedroom of the Guild Master's Apartment, where my advisors and I meet every day to discuss the issues most important to you, and to find solutions to our Guild's most demanding problems. I also eat a lot of corndogs in here. Afterword, I communicate via an intricate and high-tech series of tubes, called the "interweb," with Tremurr and our officers to discuss those solutions in high pressure and emotionally charged debates that more often than not end in tears and me cutting myself.

It's a long and complicated process, and I'd rather not explain it all to you, because, quite frankly, none of you are smart enough to understand the words coming out of my mouth. You're like primates. No, instead I will use pictures, and address each of you in a personal and hearthfelt manner to falsely convey a sense of connection and camaraderie that, frankly, I could never actually have with inbreds like yourselves.

First, however, I'd like to address some concerns that a few of you have expressed in a variety of ways. I'll begin with our Dragon Kill Points, or DKP, system. We have always and will always silently bid for gear, that will not change. Our method of awarding DKP will change in the future, but the amounts will remain similar and the emphasis on attendance and progression will perhaps be even more apparent. We will have more details on that as we get closer to the change.

Next, I'd like to talk a little about your membership in the guild. It is very apparent that Tremurr is very good at recruiting. We definitely make it just as obvious that we hold high expectations for our members, both initiates and raiders. Those expecations include not only performance, but also attendance, communication, and personality. When you put those two very obvious things together, you should very definitely come to the realization that your membership in this guild is nothing less than a priviledge, and it's a priviledge that you should be consistantly working towards keeping.
To make this point more clear, I've compiled a list of things that you should avoid doing at the cost of your membership. It is not comprehensive, but it's a good start:
Signing up, then not showing up for a raid is unacceptable.
Not signing up for a raid is unacceptable.
Repeating the same mistake in a raid over and over again is unacceptable.
Degrading or harshly criticizing another guildmate is unacceptable.
Bidding your DKP on an item in order to give it to someone else is unacceptable.
Disappearing for an extended period of time with no warning is unacceptable.
Consistantly poor raid performance is unacceptble.
Being an abnoxious ass in guild/raid/trade/any chat or vent is unacceptable.
Participating in inter-guild drama fight bullshit is unacceptable.
Participating in inner-guild drama fight bullshit is unacceptable.
Questioning or contradicting the raid leader during a boss fight is unacceptable.
Behaving like a child publicly or in PUGs with AoR over your head is unacceptable.
Sex with Reji's mother is unacceptable.

Finally, I'd like to address the issue of the pants. It has come to my attention recently that Tan Pants might not be the most socially acceptable form of pant to wear while, say, clubbing, or kicker dancing. I would like to make it very clear, however, that it was never my intention to participate in those activities while wearing Tan Pants. I'll repeat: I did not. have. social. relations. with those pants.



In this next part of our evening together, I'd like to try and convey the many emotions and thoughts that flow through me during our raids, in order to help you better understand why I do and say the things I do. I have decided to express this through pictures, so that your tiny little minds might better comprehend:

We start the raid:


Someone does something I didn't ask them to do:


We kill farm content:


We wipe because of something stupid:


Whisper from [Raidmember]: we can has 5 min bio break?:


We wipe for the 12th time because of something stupid:


We finally end the fucking raid:





Now I'd like to take a moment to express my thoughts on each of you individually in order to help you better understand my feelings toward you, and my expectations of you. If I forget anyone, then that expresses my thoughts on you, too.

I hate Sopheea, and I always have. She's got a stupid face.
I also hate Oartun, but I think everyone else does too.
I wish Reji would delete his account.
Sterne is what you get when you suck all the hate and anger out of Cattle.
Speaking of Cattle, I'm pretty sure that guy is like 65 years old.
I hate Rangik because he doesn't know what a possessive pronoun is.
I especially hate Yeetawh, because saying her name makes me feel goofy.
Morm eats human flesh. I have the police report to prove it.
I hate Rosh because he left me all alone with Cattleguard.
I hate Siletense because he reminds me of Rosh. And he's like 3 feet tall.
Donatall is actually a 6'4" lesbian undergoing hormone therapy.
I hate Blazingangel because he's the newest member of the guild.
I hope Vrulgtar falls off a Canadian glacier and is beaten and enslaved by eskimos.
Vapor is a giant asshole. Worst person in the world.
I hate Acramor because I think the dude is some genetically altered WoW alien.
I hate Mesia because I hate Eax.
I hate Eax because I hate Mesia.
Amminidab just needs to stop, drop, and light himself on fire.
I don't even know who the hell "Traction" is. What a terrible name.
I hate Toxx because he introduced me to this game.
I used to believe only guys played this game. Then I met Nisou.
Speaking of cunts: Obzen.
The next time I see Sneaki, I'm going to wish I hadn't.
Kaasi could win the lotto, or get shot in the knee, and his reaction would be the same: nothing.
I hate Poupalos because I'm from Texas.
Kugolo can just go fuck himself. Plain and simple.
I hate Velaena because I hate hump-backed 2 year olds.
I don't think Lydecker is even American. What an asshole.
Statillius. That's it. Statillius.
I hate Jaede because she just needs to fucking CALM THE FUCK DOWN JAEDE.
You think Azakel is getting a legendary? HA! He'll get 49 shards, then I'm keeping the rest!
Have fun on your little boat, Mast, with all your big sailors and fun showtunes and ass tatoos.
I hate Carcin so much I actually went to his house and killed him. That's why he's been gone.
How many of your 3 buttons are bound to chain heal, Grimmer?
I don't have to words to express my hatred for Banana. It's too deep.
Tremurr very certainly belongs in an insane asylum.
I fucking love Abscynth because he's great at giving head!



Well, our time tonight has come to an end. Thank you for joining me for this important conversation, and I hope we can continue to build on this foundation in the difficult and trying months ahead. Good night, and good luck.

(fade to black)

[Lydecker Lies]

[Wreckrium]

Gasoliney wrote:

Quote: Not signing up for a raid is unacceptable. Are we talking strictly about the 25 man raids? Or does this apply to the 10 mans as well?

25-Mans.

We've always gone with trying to keep 10-Mans active, but not required. If it helps you in our 25-Mans to gets some extra 10-Man gear, by all means, please do it. If it doesn't... it's on you. Our focus is and always will be on 25-Mans, especially after the changes to raid lockouts. Raiding is so much more involved and epic with 25 people working towards a goal, and 10-Man seems to be more or less a means to an end.

Honestly at first look over of Frights post here I thought it was a little harsh, and I hope he doesn't mind me saying that. After thinking it over all day, I'm in 100% agreement with everything he conveyed, especially about Vrulgtar falling off a glacier and becoming a gormet Eskimo meal. Everything Fright says is unacceptable.... is. We all like to make friends in this game, I've been playing with many of you for a long time. It's all about mutual respect and respecting your guild. We have a great group forming up here to do some serious work in Cataclysm. Keep fighting the good fight and don't give us an excuse to find someone who can contribute more to the group.

I hate to Fry Killerkills, but he was warned several times that his performance wasn't cutting it, and it just wasn't worth bringing him to raids for what he was contributing. Aside from either 1) being a douchebag, or 2) letting us down attendance wise, poor performance is the only reason we try to find someone new. Bring everything you got to these raids, maintain good attendance (You don't have to be perfect, just be constantly active) and respect one another.

As Fright mentioned in the raid time on Wednesday, we never stop recruiting. The "landscape" of raiding guilds is constantly in flux... so I'm always proactive at finding us the next great addition. This means we will have enough raiders that some people may have to sit from time to time, it sucks if you draw the straw, but it helps us maintain a full raid schedule and creates better opportunities for progression. So please, I beg you, consider this in the future if you are asked to sit out for a raid.

We're not always right by any means, but I can say with 100% confidence that Fright and I want the same end results. A fun ass guild we can log on to play with and not have to worry about people not showing up without great reason, act like a douche, freak out about gear, or in any way suck the fun out of raiding. Fright leads these raids to accomplish a mission we normally map out long before we make our first pull of the night. We have been incredibly successful so far at accomplishing the goals we set for ourselves... this won't stop. Ever. We're here to do it big, get to experience this game in full, and have tons of fun doing it with people we like.

Also this DKP thing is in the works so don't worry about us just springing it on you out of the blue, you'll get plenty of warning.

K bai.

[Abscynth]

Two things.

1. I've been playing WoW for almost 5 years now, and been active in various guilds/forums for 4 1/2 of those years. And that was BY FAR the most epic post I've read on a guild forum.

2. If you guys have ever wondered why the fuck Fright never gets anything done...You've just seen it. Seriously dude. How long did it take you to put that thing together, find the images, and then come up with a reason that you hate every guild member (Ok. That last part wouldn't take very long..but still :P )

[Savallia]

i almost hated you again... than i found me :D we're good ;)

[hanieko]

I have to start by saying epic post. Loved how u put. 'I hate Rangik because he doesn't know what a possessive pronoun is." I feel a little more epic now that there something on me now.

TYVM on the most epic post and theatre criticism.

Oh shit i use big words.

[Poupalos]

He must really hate the person he left out....

[hanieko]

Poupalos wrote:

He must really hate the person he left out....

who he leave out?

[GM Fright]

Abscynth wrote:

2. If you guys have ever wondered why the fuck Fright never gets anything done...You've just seen it. Seriously dude. How long did it take you to put that thing together, find the images, and then come up with a reason that you hate every guild member (Ok. That last part wouldn't take very long..but still :P )

It took me a couple hours probably. But hey, who ever said I never got things done, huh?!

[Griiiiiiimmer]

In regard to the scurrilous accusation I use chain heal to much here is my updated UI
http://i37.tinypic.com/1z3sztc.jpg

[hanieko]

Griiiiiiimmer wrote:

In regard to the scurrilous accusation I use chain heal to much here is my updated UI http://i37.tinypic.com/1z3sztc.jpg

lol

[Wreckrium]

Griiiiiiimmer wrote:

In regard to the scurrilous accusation I use chain heal to much here is my updated UI http://i37.tinypic.com/1z3sztc.jpg

Dude that's hilarious.