Let the story begins...

[Alinthsux]

gay. The gayest of gays. But that was neither here nor there

[GM Fright]

, because Obzen is not important to this story at all. He is, in fact, so unimportant that just talking about him runs the risk of making us unimportant as well. So instead, we'll move on to the real meat of this whole mess, and that occurred, of course, when Azakel

[Somosito]

was browsing over patch notes one day and became very upset.

[Ourstateobzen]

He noticed that, unlike what was previously announced, the Death Coil spell effect was NOT being changed to a kitten. To voice his protest, he immediately rushed to the forums and started a QQ thread entitled

[GM Fright]

"Blowfish and Prostitutes: A User's Guide to Homemade Time Machines (for Dummies!)"

With this manifesto completed, his life's work finally etched into the solid stone of the internets, Azakel filled the back of his van with two and a quarter tons of nitro-glycerin, and

[Somosito]

after painting "FREE CANDY" on the side, he

[Siletense]

decided that this forum needed to be bumped so he telepathically told Siletense to do so. Sile did and then

[GM Fright]

choked to death on some of Azakel's candy. Azakel then proceeded to rape sile's dead body, the whole time yelling, "

[Somosito]

"ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER!" Suddenly, he

[GM Fright]

pulled out, whispering softly into sile's dead ear, "

[Lydecker Lies]

I think I haven't ever seen such

[GM Fright]

a vibrantly purple rhinoceros!" Then he fell asleep.

Meanwhile, across the street in the pawn shop, Shib and his wife were purchasing

[cnospam]

a bibliography on the life of

[Ourstateobzen]

someone with absolutely no social significance or cultural importance whatsoever. In fact, the most interesting thing this person ever did was

[GM Fright]

live their life in such a literary way that their biography could instead be called a bibliography. This person read so many books and lived by the words within them so accurately that his life was very literally defined by those books.

Then Saurial died from choking on his own tongue. This, like the life of the bibliography-biographed person, was exceptionally unimportant.

Shib, however,